I'm incredibly thankful for a precious opportunity that arose this month to chat with one of the older HL students. Zain is by far the brightest, sweetest, most respectful, and hardworking students I've come across. Since his mom is also deaf, his signing skills far outperform his classmates. I've loved chatting with him. He carries himself so well and is always seeking to show kindness even through his words! Lately, I had the chance to ask about his aspirations. He shared that he would like to become a cleaner. I was honestly taken aback, but was quickly internally reminded that every job is dignified in the eyes of our Creator, and my priority should always be to shed light on the hope of Christ, even with the students. Yet, precisely because he was such a sweet and bright student, I couldn't help but wonder what shaped his limitations to his future jobscopes. Having learnt and seen Deaf people who have excelled greatly, my interaction with Zain tugged my heartstrings, and I truly yearn evermore now to partner and journey alongside him in whatever ways I can to empower him. I've also grown increasingly interested in Deaf pedagogy and education. God, help me to keep my main priority in sight, seeking every opportunity to build relationships with these precious teenagers, and to ultimately share the eternal joy and hope found in Christ alone.
Truly, by God's grace alone, a precious gospel privilege came about through a conversation with one of my colleagues. To be frank, I was tempted to withdraw into my comfort bubble after another draining day of teaching. I was determined to head into the staffroom, get work done, and head out immediately. I opened the door, and the dread of recognizing a familiar face washed over me (I know, how uglily selfish of me). This colleague is viewed more of as an underdog, and as such, I have been trying to build a relationship with her, although I noticed she was often excluded from conversations. Without expecting much, I asked, "How are you?" To my astonishment, she replied with a teary and shivering tone, "Not very good, actually!" This opened the door to opportunities to attune to her, be a listening ear, and eventually, share the gospel with her- a conversation that lasted for 1.5 hours. As she poured her heart out about challenges in the workplace, workplace politics, and even family matters, tears constantly streamed down her face. Oh Jesus, thank you for the strength and patience to love like you loved, though I recognized my impatience as I struggled to really listen instead of drifting into thoughts about wishing I could be using my time in other ways. Yet the Lord was kind and gracious, and I was heartened by her trust in me to share something so close to her heart. As I reflected on that moment later that evening, a thought crossed my mind that really shaped my perspective on workplace ministry. When I sincerely view my work as a ministry ground/mission field, suddenly, I'm filled with gratitude as I realize that my monthly paychecks just become an added bonus! I don't have to worry about seeking funds! Yet, far too often, I find myself worrying and comparing my income with fellow peers who studied the same degree as I did. Praise the Lord for refining and purifying my heart posture in a timely manner. My friend reminded me that this thinking could only come from the Holy Spirit, for the world would never rationalize this way. I've also been thinking about what it looks like to clearly portray the undiluted gospel to Muslims, since they often deem our God as somewhat similar to theirs.
One of my teacher friends recently pointed out to me that one of my students has shown incredible improvements in communicating through signing! Just last year, he was also passionate about communicating, but everything was done solely through pointing, either leading the teachers to make a conclusion for him or simply brushing it off. God has been so kind, and I, too, have noticed tremendous improvement in him and can only boast in the Lord, for He truly answers prayer! (I remembered earnestly praying that God would allow me to have a two-way communication with my students. I really saw such dim hope at the start of this year!)
Something from Scripture I've been thinking about
I met my little mentees this month, and we've been examining passages that illustrate how exactly Jesus loves us. That day, we went through Matthew 23 and were all struck by how much we could relate to the scribes and Pharisees- puffed up in pride, confident that we've reached the benchmark. We were prompted to consider what it would be like if people could see the inside of us (think of glass fish) and came to the realization that Jesus is able to see right inside us- what we are thinking and wanting. That quiet, unspoken sin of self-righteousness has been something I've been pondering lately. I've been convicted by my tenacious sinfulness, often subconsciously portraying myself as a better Christian through my words and actions. Whether it's in my own cell group or a gathering with Christian brothers and sisters, the temptation to place myself in a superior demeanor, thinking that I know the true gospel, is frighteningly scary. The very problem of self-righteousness is that it seems nearly impossible to recognize in ourselves. We will own up to almost any other sin, but not the sin of self-righteousness. Refusing to identify myself as a sinner and saint risks the danger of deceiving myself and becoming like the self-righteous Pharisee. Swinging to extreme ends creates in us two deceiving concepts: pride or guilt. Oh may God help us to realize and truly grasp the need for a humble realization of our own sinfulness and the need for a grateful acceptance of God's grace.
Simple Joys
Heart was so full after a little princess date with the sweetest, bubbliest time with Tasha baking fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies and bonding over making cards for one another, and an impromptu push-up challenge. She never fails to greet me each ballet class with the warmest bear hug and a gift. From handmade cards filled with gems, little figurines, to a keychain with her birthday on it so that I'll never forget her birthday, since in her words, "I don't need this because how can I forget my own birthday?" One of my fondest memories of her that'll stick with me for life was the one time when she noticed that the strap of my bag was broken and without hesitation she offered, "I'll give you one of my bags next week, ms polly!" And true to her own words, she blessed me with a princess bag the week after. Ah, I've so so so much to learn from sweet Tasha! Extremely thankful that I've gotten to do life with her for the past few years! If sunshine and sunflowers were a person, it would undoubtedly be her!
A gathering of Larkhill friends to celebrate Sg's 60th birthday turned into a very precious time with some of the loveliest, most mature older sisters I'm thankful to the Lord for allowing me to cross paths with. The advice and Godly wisdom they impart are always kind and sensitive, coming from a place of experiencing similar pains and heartaches in the past to be able to share deeply and honestly with me. I've seen the raw side of some of these sisters' struggles in their different phases of life, yet their joy in the Lord truly reveals the kind of God we serve: a purposeful Sovereign God.
It's officially been more than a year, but this valuable group of cu friends has been such a timely anchor and reminder for me to press on in investing in the communities God has given me. Left that day pondering over what gospel partnership can look like through our prayers. Realized how easy it is for me to limit God to a square box, forgetting that prayer puts us into such direct, dynamic touch with the world.
One of my simple joys this month was being blessed with this sweet message from my student. It was so unexpected, as it's been a tiresome few months trying to instill skills on utilizing the AAC, an augmented alternative communication device, which develops students' sentence structure skills. To have her communicate with me on such a level truly brought tears to my eyes!
Partner Me In Prayer
- I struggle to genuinely love the hard-to-love. I find that my love for these people is often short-lived and rather double-minded. Please pray especially that I will keep coming back to the cross and the grace of the Gospel will compel me to genuinely love the teacher that I mentioned above. Pray that God will strip me of any remnant pride in me and truly create in me a clean heart- one that's marked with humility and love.
- My parents are away for a while. Would you pray that I will use these upcoming weeks to intentionally check in on my siblings, to recognize my family as an urgent ministry priority? Pray that I will not shy away from Gospel conversations. Pray that I will cultivate a heart that freely and generously gives without expecting returns, knowing that I've already been accounted righteousness by my gracious Savior, and that's the most precious gift I could ever ask for.
- Lastly, would you keep in prayer as I consider how I can faithfully and lovingly portray the undiluted Gospel in words to my Muslim coworkers?