I have been reading Follow Me by David Platt, and the sheer weight of what Jesus endured on the cross just gripped my heart in a new way. You see, maybe saying God doesn’t just hate sinners doesn’t even do justice. Instead, he abhors and destroys them (a perusal through the pages of the OT shows severe punishment towards sin and sinners alike). And so at the cross, picture the extreme wrath of God poured out all on Jesus, his son, when it should have been us! I also started seeing the extent of God’s love for us! It’s truly nothing I’ve done on my own accord to earn any rights, but solely His immeasurable love. Why would the closely-knit Trinity (recognizing the love and equality of the Father and the Son in John 15,16) be broken even for a moment when they love and uphold one another with such reverence and majesty and love? How could for a brief moment, the Father ever pour out such wrath on the Son, and break ties with him? Only one answer, it could only be the deep, deep love He has for us and nothing that we did to earn his love. For even our best deeds and thoughts would only earn us a place in hell. Oh Lord, that is the extent of the magnitude of your love for me. Please help me not to grow complacent to this truth. Would you break me and place me in a posture of a contrite heart and broken spirit, to examine my heart and help me to keep seeing the utter desolate state I'm in because of the weight of my sins so that grace becomes sweeter evermore?
In our sin, we are utterly unable to call on Christ because we are totally consumed with running from God. At the core of who we are, we are enemies of God with no real desire for Him at all. In the words of Jonathan Edwards, "You contribute nothing at all to your salvation except the sin that made it necessary." So precious brothers and sisters, I urge you to consider the greatness of the one who has called us. Consider and be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the words 'follow me' because we are awed by the majesty of the “me” who says them. Realize the weight of the one who has invited us to follow him. He is worthy of more than regular church attendance and casual worship; He is worthy of total abandonment and supreme adoration.
In light of that, I would also like to share a newsletter that gripped my heart on the juxtaposition of how we are free to be slaves. Allow me to quote directly from David P. because I could never have phrased it better.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9:19.
For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.
The context preceding this verse is fascinating. Over and over again in this chapter, Paul talks about specific “rights” he possesses—to eat and drink whatever he wants, to have a wife, and to be financially supported by the church. But his whole purpose in talking about these “rights” is to say that he intentionally relinquishes these rights in order to spread the gospel among people who need it. He changes his diet, he willingly embraces singleness, and he even refuses some financial support because he knows doing these things will help reach more people with the gospel.
Then, when he gets to verse 19, he uses an astonishing word to describe himself. He says, “I have made myself a servant of all,” and the word he uses for servant is doulos, which is the Greek word for “slave.” In other words, with all sorts of freedoms at his disposal, Paul says, “I make myself a slave to people who don’t know Jesus, so that I might lead them to Jesus.” That’s what he means when he says, “that I might win more of them.” He elaborates later, saying in verses 22-23:
I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.
In light of 1 Corinthians 9, let’s take a moment to think of all the freedoms—and “rights”—we have. We have the right to life, friends, marriage, family, safety, security, health, and happiness. We have the right to eat, drink, watch, wear, study, listen to, or say whatever we want. We have the right to organize our schedule, spend our time, choose our career, make our money, use our money, take our vacation, and plan our retirement. We have the right to do what we want to do, go where we want to go, and live how we want to live.
But this is where 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 is so revolutionary. As followers of Jesus with all of these rights, we actually make ourselves slaves of people who don’t yet know Jesus in order to lead them to Him. In other words, the Spirit of Jesus in us leads us to sacrifice our resources—our time, our money, our gifts, our comforts, our plans, and our dreams—in order to spread the gospel to people around us who need it and people far from us who have never heard it.
How is this posture of a slave playing out in your life? In what ways are you sacrificing your rights for the spread of the gospel? And in what ways might God be calling you to sacrifice more of your rights for the spread of the gospel?
In the end, let’s realize that this is true freedom: following Jesus and spending our lives spreading His love in our neighborhoods and among all nations so that more and more people might experience the freedom from sin and death that Jesus alone can bring.
Lately, I’ve been wrestling with how I spend the margins of my time. As the things of this world grow strangely dim in the light of eternity, I find myself caught in this quiet, unsettling tug-of-war. Almost instinctively, I drift toward YouTube or social media— often without a second thought. And yet, within moments, I’m struck by how hollow it all feels. What promised distraction or delight instead leaves me more depleted than refreshed— a gentle yet sobering reminder that such pursuits are fleeting, full of vanity, and incapable of truly lifting my soul. At the same time, my heart feels heavy. The pull to conform to the world grows stronger, especially as I watch peers thrive in ways the world celebrates. The undercurrents of workplace politics, the challenge of standing firm in faith, and the toll of being an introvert amidst precious but stretching 1-to-1 ministry— all have worn me thin. Though I treasure these Gospel opportunities, I still feel the ache: a pull toward comfort, success, recognition. I catch myself wondering— is it truly worth it? Is it worth pressing on in this fight against sin, in the pursuit of holiness, and to persevere in the glorious privilege of weak ministry that's foolish in the eyes of the world?
Yet—
Praise be to God, our loving Father, for His unwavering, steadfast love towards weak people. Through the quiet comfort of His Word, through my mom’s tearful, heartfelt prayer as we embraced, through the timely encouragement of Project Timothy, He reminded me: Grace is stronger than sin, and grace will triumph. Jesus is the true vine- the true Israel. And as the vine, He was trampled upon and He resurrected so that all who abide in Him will bear fruit.
A Glimpse of Grace in the Classroom
I recently experienced one of the most joyful moments I’ve had teaching my little ones in a long while.
We were learning a rhythm and rhyme (a technique I've picked up to make learning sign language engaging) on 'My Family', and it brought me so much fulfilment watching them piece together the signs with the words. My heart swelled when R recognized the repetition and proudly signed and enunciated the words as best as she could— her face lighting up with each attempt.
For the first time in what feels like ages, none of the kids cried or had a meltdown.
Even during math— when I introduced the greater than and less than symbols— they were so eager and excited! Every time I called on someone to come up to the board, they beamed with pride. Ir., my sweet boy who often shows little enthusiasm, was grinning from ear to ear!
I was a little nervous about how they’d adapt to my new classroom setup: chairs placed in front of the whiteboard, their tables shifted to a corner for independent work, and an extra table for pull-outs with me. I gave them a small incentive for completing their work on their own. To my delight, they all carried their chairs over so proudly, giggling as they compared who was the strongest. I laughed right along with them.
By God’s grace, R completed all her work independently for the first time, without constantly seeking validation. When I marked a few answers wrong, she responded with a cheerful, teachable spirit—correcting them and returning to me with a smile. I was so proud of her.
And dear Ir.— he sat and focused for a full 15 minutes during independent time. When I checked in on him, he gave me a shy, mischievous smile— he had completed one question and doodled the rest! But I knew he understood the concept, so I pulled him out for some 1-to-1 time with me. He worked so well with minimal help. When he peered into the treat basket with that toothy grin, it tugged at my heartstrings. I couldn’t help but blurt out, “Oh, you have no idea how much I love you!”
One of my coworkers was so sweet to offer lunch before our sign language class. I was honestly quite tired after our outing to another school that morning, but I’m thankful for the chance to sit and get to know her better. Over lunch, we talked about why I’m vegan, which opened up an unexpected but meaningful conversation about her Catholic faith. She shared that Catholics refrain from eating meat on Fridays— not just during Lent— something she only found out recently from a priest, which has since made her feel more guilty for not keeping it in the past.
That opened the door for me to gently share how Christianity is really a relationship, not just a religion. We may share the same 10 commandments, and while she explained how Catholics strive to obey them and confess to a priest when they fall short, I shared how it’s by grace alone that I am saved. God’s laws are good— they show us how to relate rightly to Him as King and Creator, but they also reveal our helplessness. None of us can keep them perfectly. That’s why we cling to Christ, who did what we never could. He fulfilled the law completely, and in Him, by faith and grace, we are made righteous.
I’m praying for more chances to talk with her, to share how these commands aren’t meant to condemn but to lead us to Jesus. When I asked what she believes about salvation, she admitted she had never thought much about it and has never really read the Bible. God, would You stir her heart and lead her to search for the Truth.
Later that day, while teaching my subject class, one of my students got very upset when I didn’t allow her to use the calculator. She kept signing for me to leave the class. I tried to meet her where she was, calmly signing, “N is feeling angry. Why?” and gently explaining my reason. The teaching assistant was shocked and told me she would’ve scolded her if she knew how to sign. I told her honestly— I would’ve too, if left to my own strength. Only by God’s grace could I respond with patience. I pray that even that small moment might open up opportunities for more gospel conversations.
I’ve grown closer to my colleagues, especially the little clique that I used to feel intimidated by. It made me reflect on how gospel ministry sometimes means entering into people’s worlds, their culture, their pace— not to conform to the world, but to build genuine relationships that point to Christ. I thank God for the friendships growing there and the joy that has come with it.
That week also brought a fresh awareness of my sin— the ugliness of it. It's been a while since I truly lamented and confessed. But God, in His mercy, reminded me again of His faithfulness and forgiveness. That week, I had just sat under rich teaching from God’s Word at SSBC and Project Timothy, yet even after such a fruitful time, I snapped sharply at my mom. I felt hurt when I thought she ignored me while I was asking about the women’s conference, and later, she accused me of not listening when I thought I had gone the extra mile to help her. That moment left me feeling like an utter wreck. I long to grow in holiness, yet I see how far I fall. I echo Paul in Romans 7, "For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate... For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I do the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me."
Our struggle with sin. It happens in the little moments of life that we often overlook them and see what is a very serious thing as not such a big deal. Oh how these little moments actually point a finger at something huge- our struggle with sin and our need for the grace that can be found only in Our Savior, the King, the Lamb, the Lord Jesus Christ. May God help us!
Still, there is grace. And in the small, quiet ways, I see His hand at work.
Whimsical Interlude
Had such a sweet first ever meetup with my neighbour, D, over lunch. I told her lunch was on me, but before I could even react, she had already paid! So quick, so kind.
She kept saying how thankful she was for our meetup, sharing how she’s always remembered me as someone cheerful, even though we only exchanged small hellos growing up. I was so touched by her words. D told me she was actually nervous at first, unsure of what we’d talk about— but ended up surprised at how much she opened up. I got to hear about her growing up years, the pain of losing her sister, and the experience of being raised in a home with two different religions. Through our conversation, I was so grateful for the opportunity to gently share the gospel, especially as I listened to how death and loss have shaped her and how she finds hope.
Lord, thank You for this precious time. Please help me to love her deeply— not just as a “gospel contact,” but as someone You’ve placed in my life to care for. Give me grace and energy to follow up with sincerity and joy. May she ponder over the truth she heard today. Soften her heart, and give me the boldness to invite her to read a book of the Bible together. Whatever the outcome, may all glory go to You. May all the peoples and nations know that you are the Lord their God.
One of God's greatest kindness to me the past year was getting to journey with Lindsey. She radiates Christ in her words and actions. Her grace-giving life has been a source of encouragement and hope for me to keep running the race set before us with perseverance. I've treasured the opportunities we had to pour our hearts, yearnings, and struggles with one another. Eternally thankful for our kingdom sisterhood that we share in Christ!
She's one of my closest sisters since the early CU days on campus. Her steadfastness and abiding walk with Christ has always been a great source of comfort and encouragement to me. Thankful for the words of wisdom she imparts to me, being a sister who's just a little ahead of me. What pure joy it is that I get little glimpses of God's kindness and grace through precious sisters like her!
Partner Me In Prayer
- Would you pray that my heart will keep resting on the character and promises of God- that He is an infinitely wise and exceedingly sufficient Father- as I truly learn to trust Him with every single aspect of my life?
- Please pray that I won't grow complacent in the ways I spend my marginal time, that I'll keep wrestling with the battle between my desire to pursue holiness and the comforts of this world.
- Lastly, please pray that the heart of my neighbour be softened, that as she recounts the gospel to her sister, something will click for her and she will grow in her desire to taste and see Jesus for herself and eventually realize true delight, joy, and hope is found in the supremely satisfying God!